Steps to Overcoming Fear of Swine Flu (H1N1), and Pandemic, with Your Children

Steps to Overcoming Fear of Swine Flu (H1N1), and Pandemic, with Your Children
by LaSara Firefox, MPNLP, www.lasarafirefox.com, www.GratitudeGames.com

1. Research the topic. Read sites like the World Health Organization, and your current local coverage. Have there been any confirmed cases in your region? Probably not!
2. Address any fear present in yourself before you have a conversation.
3. Address the issue with your child, or children. Ignoring it will not help your child to work through the fear.
4. Cite the facts of the current situation, in a calm and restrained way.
5. Tell your child that there have been many other pandemic and other scares that didn't pan out as expected. (In other words, all of them, since 1918, right? (SARS, Avian Flu, killer bees, ebola...remember?)
6. Let your child know that all measures are being taken that are necessary at this time; if further measures are required, we will all know.
   
7. Explain that those who are most at risk are NOT your child, or you (unless this is not true); most at risk are infants and young children, very old people, and people with compromised immune systems.
8. Explain that the more people who get the flu and recover, the better off we all are. That we create immunities, and the immunity itself helps to stop the spread of the illness.

Any other ideas? Add them here!

peace, and gratitude,
-LaSara
(aka @yoga_mama on Twitter.)
http://www.lasarafirefox.com
http://www.GratitudeGames.com

(Republish, repost, reprint, copy this article at will. Please leave author info and link intact.)

Happy Happy Birthday Barbie! (Or, In Defence of the Doll.)

In case you hadn't heard, this is the month of the 50th birthday of the longest-standing winner of the crown of Most Ambiguous Idol of Women's Power - BARBIE! And, it's also Women's History Month (Irony? Or Not? You decide.)

Quoted below is a (very) little piece on the Plastic Priestess I write for my book Sexy Witch (Llewellyn, self-help/nonfiction, 2005), for chapter two - that chapter in which I addresses self-esteem.

In honor of the gran dame's 50th, I thought I'd post it, slightly updated.

Then, of course, I got carried away, and had to add a bunch of commentary, as a recognition and celebration of our (read my) changing feminist values and views.

In Defense of the Doll: The Barbie Revolution

Barbie has gone from being a vapid example of how women are "supposed to be," to being the most successful female in America. Barbie has had 95+ careers, has been created in 45 different nationalities. And, has busted through the glass ceiling on many frontiers. Launched in 2004: White House Barbie!

With any luck, we mortals will soon catch up with this versatile plasticine character.

Sexy Witch

Flashback to the late '80s, and My Long, Long Journey Towards Respecting Barbie:

With a spotty family history (I'll spare you the drama), and the fervor of Take Back the Night, I stepped into adulthood at the tail-end of the 2nd Wave, and a chip on my shoulder the size of...well, the size of womanhood itself, and the ills heaped upon it (or, us), I guess.

At 18 I started body building, and learned self-defense techniques that made it possible for me to kill a man with my bare hands.

At 19, I shaved my head, wore boy-clothes, and started walking, talking, and f*cking like a man. Anything HE could do, I could do better - f8ck the "high heels and backwards" part! I wore combat boots. (Didn't we all?)

At 21, I worked as the only female employee in a moving company of 130+, and became one of the guys. Worked twice as hard for half the respect, yada yada yada.

Yeah. A lot of men were ass3s. And yes, gender was bu77sh1t. And yes, shaving my head, the confidence of knowing how to kill "a perp," and the strength to lift a washing machine single-handed made it possible for me to pass as a guy with confidence, and do all sorts of stuff that girl's (yep, even most "riot grrrls") couldn't, or wouldn't do.

And as a red head, shaving your hair off is a sure-fire way to find out who's been objectifying you! At least, that's how I felt when men talked to me eye to eye instead of eye to breast. Then there were the friends who bailed - I figured to he77 with 'em, if they can't take the "real" me.

Result: I hated men more, loved myself less...and slowly, overtime, found a long and winding path towards my own healing, from the inside out.

First, I made gender my own.

Then I started the process of making peace with my body and its female vulnerabilities.

Then, I began the (still-challenging) work of making peace with men, and the fact that they truly COULDN'T (and can't) understand what it was like to be a woman.

Not their fault. Not always a comfortable truth, but a truth all the same

Just like the fact that I can't understand what it's like to be a woman from Chiapas. I can empathize. I can listen to her life stories. I can do what I can to put myself in her shoes. But I cannot know what it is like to BE her.

I learned, and as I learned I taught. I taught workshops. I taught classes. I had debates - formal and informal. I wrote articles. As a matter of fact, all of this lead to writing Sexy Witch.

In the midst of it all, I became a mom.

As a strong, some might even say extremist, feminist, what changed my mind about Barbie?

My daughter was a Daughter. A Daughter, with a capital "D". Delicate, pale shell of an inviolable (please god, please - prayer whispered again and again) holy of holies. Alabaster skin, tiny ankle, long, fine fingers.

It was as if she were born with a very "traditionally feminine" tenderness. Holding her felt like holding a fragile china doll, with a pulse - one I was entirely responsible to protect from a hard world.

My little one's fragility announced itself like a metaphorical pink bow tied around her mostly-hairless head - it was like she had an extra x chromosome, just for good measure.

And who knows? Maybe she does? Human genetic sex is a spectrum that contains 47 possible combinations of Xs and Ys.

Even before my eldest daughter's birth, I had Rules (with a capital "R") about how she'd be raised. No gender-based gifts, no pink clothes, no dresses. The hubby and I hand-dyed "baby pink" and "baby blue" cotton infant shirts black. Back in '97 there were no hip, punk-rock baby shops.) We gave her dolls, but made sure she had tractors, too.

But then the damndest thing happened; my daughter started speaking for herself. Very early. And very - you guessed it - outspokenly. At about seven months.

One of her first favorite words was "pretty." And, it referred to anything pink.

I loosened up. She LIKED dresses. She loved pink ones the most. Especially ones with tutus, frills, and bright colours. So, bit by bit, along came the wings, and the wands, and the tulle, and the ballet shoes. The girly summer sandals.

I still held on to the "no Barbies" rule. For a very long time. It was a point of reference for me. Something to hold on to.

Against all the ribbing, joking, cajoling, I held on. The Beauty Myth. Anorexia. Bulemia. High heels. Tiny waists. Huge breasts. Make up. Etc. I was afraid of the impact the plasticine queen would have on my - already SO female - daughter.

When she was two-and-a-half, my precocious one asked; "Mom, why can't I have a Barbie?" She was (is) quite a sharp cookie, and a little pitcher with some big ears! I took a breath, and said "I'm afraid she'll make you feel badly about yourself." Her response?

"Mommy, she's just a doll!" I swear to this day that her voice had a slight edge of disbelief that I could ever be quite so silly.

She won that argument, hands down.

My daughter taught me something in that moment. Sometimes a doll IS just a doll.

And over the years of welcoming Barbie into my family in her many guises, the lovely lady has taught me a few things, too. My girls and I especially loved the Witch Barbies a couple of Halloweens ago. But the greatest sight by far has been the Barbie knock-offs you find in the Middle East. These lovelies sing Middle Eastern Disco, and wear hijab - a hair covering traditional for women in Muslim culture.

The latest of Barbie's 95+ careers? CEO. To shed some light on that, The Onion has a wise (ass), and very relevant article on the topic.

Yes, the pink-collar ghetto is still a real thing. Women still make less than men, on average, across the board. The statistical nexus where gender, sex, race, education, motherhood and the market place converge are so convoluted that only economists can do them justice.

And, even at that, there's HUGE debate about the gender-wage-gap, it's origins, and possible solutions.

So here I'll site only a couple of stats I can recall off the top of my head: a white woman, on average, makes about .75 for each $1 a white man makes. That is a quarter less per dollar. $25 less for every $100. $250 less for every $1000. 75 cents on the dollar is a big deal.

The largest wage gap is between white men, and Mexican and Hispanic women. If I remember correctly, the gender-wage-gap is lowest between Mexican and Hispanic men, and Mexican and Hispanic women. (Probably because Mexican and Hispanic men make damn near nothing!)

In all this truth, thank God for Barbie. God bless her, from her misshapen little feet, to her plastic space helmet, to her smart, strong, suits, to her new measurements. Sure, she's still got an "unrealistic" bod. So does Angelina Jolie, and I love her none-the-less!

To grossly reduce the parody The Onion offers, Barbie's careers are seemingly "unrealistic", too. Fer chrissake, in 1979, there was a black Barbie for President doll!

Some kinds on "unrealistic" are good. Women getting the vote was, at one time, unrealistic. The civil rights movement? World peace...

Unrealistic doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes unrealistic is just a challenge that spurs us on.

In Barbie's world, your worth isn't based on whether you're married by the time you're thirty - as a matter of fact, Barbie's never been married. In her world, a woman can have any career she wants - or even a whole bunch of them! And she's no less beautiful, womanly or feminine as a surgeon than as a nurse. And no less strong as a nurse than as a surgeon.

With luck, some perseverance, and some "unrealistic" dreaming, perhaps someday it'll be so in our world, too.

I trust our girls to know which elements to strive to change, and where to put their focus.

It's our responsibility not to irresponsibly bare our wounds, hand our daughters the glass ceilings that held us down, or limit their reaching for the sky, the scalpel, or even the Malibu spa.

And, it's our responsibility to have the conversation about body image, health, self-acceptance, self-love, and self-esteem over and over again. Even more, it's our responsibility to model that health for them.

And surely, that conversation does not begin, nor end, with Barbie. After all, she's just a doll.

Yoga Mama's Guide to Compassionate Consumerism, Buy Nothing Day, Gratitude Games, Roots of Tradition, and more.

Hi!

Happy Thanksgiving! Today's note has three articles for your reading pleasure, inspiration, and edification. One is my brand new Yoga Mama's Guide to Compassionate Consumerism, two is The Roots of Tradition; Reasons for the Season, and three is the offering of my gratitude games, so you and your loved ones can play them during your thanksgiving revels, should you choose to. (See the Ecstatic Presence Empowerment.)

But before all that, I'm going to offer you an alternative to Black Friday - the biggest shopping day of the year. It's Buy Nothing Day! Check it out here.

Now, generally I say YES!, let's spend money and keep the economy going. But this one day out of the year, what if we all committed to reducing our footprint by staying home, or brought consciousness to spending habits by joining in on an action sponsored by Adbusters?

Ultimately, whether you decide to participate in Black Friday or Buy Nothing Day, I hope you participate with consciousness - consciousness toward the planet, for your wallet, and of the fact that you are always voting - with your dollars, your patronage, your attention.

Read on, and have a gratitude filled Thanksgiving.

Peace, and thank you for being in my life.
-LaSara
http://www.lasarafirefox.com

Yoga Mama's Guide to Compassionate Consumerism
by LaSara Firefox, MPNLP, http://www.lasarafirefox.com

Here we are at that time of year where my anti-consumerist, smaller footprint, "live simply" self, and my "kids deserve the joy that materialism so easily delivers", acquisitive, affluenza-suffering self must war with one another.

And I, like every other conscious consumer, enter the battlefield of who to buy for, what to buy, and why? And, in some ways most importantly, HOW?

For your consideration, some guidelines I came up with for conscious and compassionate consumerism:

1. Remember that every dollar is a vote. When you spend, you are voting for the survival of one "contender" over another. You're contributing to the policies, and politics, of the corporation you buy from. Choose accordingly.

2. Locally owned companies need your support to stay afloat. So, keep chain store gift buying to a bare-minimum. If you're going to spend your "hard-earned" cash, spend it where it helps the most.

3. Gift with products and services you believe in. Organic cotton socks may be out of your price range ($50 for five pairs? Yikes!), but, see # 4.

4. Buy products and services produced and offered by people you know. You probably know a lot of really great folks, doing really great things. Artists and artisans, musicians, writers, massage therapists and body workers, hairstylists and aestheticians, fix-it guys and gals, coaches, carpenters, tarot readers, florists.

When you buy from friends, you gift twice. You support your friend in her or his commitment to "right livelihood", and you give a quality, personal gift to the recipient.

5. Attempt to fully and presently give the gift of yourself throughout the season. Relax into the experience of it, stay present in the joy of times shared with loved ones. Light candles to welcome the return of the Sun.

6. Become conscious of your judgments, and let them go. This is a very personal suggestion that you may relate to; one of my biggest challenges to staying present in the season is my judgmentalism about consumerism, and the wastefulness that this season brings; light displays, wrapping paper, extra driving, extra buying, extra spending.

The voice of my judgement rings out in response to my own holiday habits - which at times veer into excess, over-extension, stress. It can be overwhelming to stay conscious in the midst of it. So, I try to relax my judgement, towards myself and others. Judgement is not compassion.

7. Meditate on the longing, the need, the hunger that is the shadow-side of this darkest time of year, and allow it to pass. Again, and again, and again. Feel it, and let it go. Recognize it in your own desires to care for, and to be cared for, and find acceptance and love for the hungry parts of you. Notice it in others, and generate compassionate understanding.

Those are my steps to compassionate consumerism. What are yours?

Just as with any face of compassion, compassionate consumerism is a practice. It's a practice I undertake for my own benefit, and the benefit of all sentient beings.

The Roots of Tradition; Reasons for the Season
by LaSara Firefox, MPNLP, http://www.lasarafirefox.com

In giving myself to the spirit of the season, releasing guilt and judgement, and becoming more responsible in the habits of indulgence and over-indulgence, I find it helps me to remember that the lights, the gifting and the gatherings are all rooted in time-worn traditions.

These ancient traditions were born of a deep and abiding need that descends in the darkest of hours and longest of nights; the need to remind ourselves of the promise of a return of the light. They predate marketing, consumerism, Santa Claus. They even existed before the birth of the sweet baby Jesus.

The more I remember that the gifting of this season is about getting through hard times - long, dark nights in cold, cold months, and about support, community and the spirit of generosity, the easier it is to see through the red haze of seasonal buying fury, and have the season make more sense.

The lights adorning houses are a glance backward at ceremonies of light in the darkness that were celebrated by indigenous cultures all over the world. When I become aware of this, and feel the lineage unbroken - the spirit circles back to ceremonies that make sense - I find a bit more wonder in the twinkling lights.

Carried in these ancient festivals of light is the seed of hope, the same seed carried in our hearts as we face our own darkest days and nights - the seed that allows us to be assured that light will, that light does, return.

Of this desire to find light in the darkness, gifting originated as a faith-offering - a triumphant song in the night promising that the spring would return. That crops would grow again, ewes would come into milk, and new livestock would be born.

We gift to keep the wolf from each other’s doors. We gift to remind ourselves that there are others who will take care of us if we fall upon hard times. We gift to remind ourselves, and each other, that God exists - in the form of a jolly, rotund giver, the Solar entity, baby Jesus – “light of the world”, Saturnus, or whomever else you may pray to at this time of year. That the sun will return.

We gift to remind ourselves that even in the darkest times, there is light still to be found.

Ecstatic Presence Empowerment: Gratitude Games!
by LaSara Firefox, http://www.lasarafirefox.com

This Empowerment was written for the Thanksgiving holiday last year. But, every day is a good day to practice gratitude. Gratitude helps heal the heart (yes, it's scientifically proven to help with healing rates after heart surgery or heart disease), it reduces stress, and it helps us to learn to notice the things in life that support ease and grace.

Here are some fun and easy ways to introduce gratitude practice to your family and friends. If you feel inspire to integrate gratitude practice into your life, consider hosting a Gratitude Gathering. You can use these games as a starting point.

1. Gratitude Practice: The old standby. Everyone in your cluster takes a turn saying something they’re grateful for. One offering isn't enough? Go around again!

2. "Gratigories": Take turns choosing categories, and then everyone at your table offers one thing they are grateful for in the chosen "gratigory."

At our family Thanksgiving last year we played this, and it was great! Some fun - and surprisingly touching - gratigories we came up with; public utilities, things that happened to or for us when we were teens, family traditions that have been handed down, the influence of famous people.

Have fun with the gratigories! The more diverse, the better.

3. A Grateful A to Z: An alphabet of gratitude! Start with A, and make
your way to Z. Make sure everyone takes a turn. This is obviously a great gratitude game for the wee ones in your crew.

4. Compassionate Gratitude: The most challenging of my gratitude games perhaps, but what better way to strengthen your practice of compassion, than with gratitude?

The point of Compassionate Gratitude is to find things to be grateful about in areas that challenge your lovingness. Politics? Family? America? Media? Culture? Choose your topic, and find the gift in the challenge!

Consider yourself empowered!

About the author:
LaSara FireFox, MPNLP, is mom to two amazing daughters, a life coach, and an educator. She helps her clients and students to find balance in their lives, and alignment with their personal and family-held values.

Visit LaSara’s website at http://www.lasarafirefox.com for more information. At the site, you can listen to her “Yoga Mama Satsangha” podcast series, download free parenting-related items, and more.

Yoga Mama's Post-Election Post - Win Some, Lose Some...

Win Some:
I truly believe I have experienced what may be THE definative political event of my lifetime; the first black American president has been elected. By a landslide, in fact.

Not only that, he's the first president who is more Gen-X than Baby Boom. And, as advertised, as much as Obama is proof of change, he's harbinger of change. Don't quite buy it yet? Check out the new President-Elect's website: www.change.gov. Seriously! Change dot Gov. And it is a change - Obama and his team are ready to drag this country, perhaps kicking and screaming, into the new millennium. (Hey, we're only eight years late, right?)

Web 2.0 savvy was part of what delivered this heroic victory. And, Obama has been nothing but generous with the praise for a country that heard a message of hope, and went for. Motivated to achieve it.

I look forward to seeing what the country looks like in a year's time, four year's. We have an opportunity to take a lead from an honorable man, and embrace change. This is only the beginning. We are the change that elected this president, and we can be the change that rises this country from the ashes to fly strong again.

Lose Some:
In California, widely considered at least one of the most liberal states in the union, the citizens voted in Proposition 8, the nefariously worded "Protect Marriage Act." It's is a proposition that "protects traditional marriage" by disallowing anyone but one man and one woman the rights that marriage affords.

However, the fight goes on. As I write, people all over the state are demonstrating against Prop 8.

To paraphrase a facebook friend's update the day after the elections; I never thought I'd see the day when I was proud to be an American, and ashamed to be a Californian. Well, here it is. (can't recall who that was from, or I'd give you a link...)

And, an end comment on the election from Yoga Mama:

So, the struggle for rights - equal rights for everyone, regardless of color of skin, sexual orientation, sex or gender - continues unabated. But still, I have hope.

Hope possessed of a leader. Hope for, and trust in, the country that elected him. Hope that a day will come when the changes that are coming have come and gone, leaving a sweeter memory behind. To quote a great man;

"Today we begin in earnest the work of making sure that the world we leave our children is...better than the one we inhabit today."
-President-Elect Barack Hussein Obama

Peace, and hope.
-LaSara
http://www.lasarafirefox.com

Yoga Mama's Guide to Compassionate Citizenry, Ecstatic Presence Newsletter

In this newsletter: Note from LaSara: Yoga Mama's Guide to Compassionate Citizenry * Empowerment for Presence: There Is No Other * LaSara Recommends...*

As the election nears, there are questions on everyone's lips. Whether it's okay to talk about politics is one of this big ones. My opinion; it's not just alright, it's your responsibility to do so! This is a democracy, and as citizens, we are empowered to participate in the governance of our country.

Yoga Mama's Guide to Compassionate Citizenry:

1. Assume positive intent.

Just because politics tends to get dirty doesn't mean that I should add my own mud to the slinging. It can be a challenge to hold back, but doing so is good form. I want to hear your point of view, and I want you to hear mine. Let's keep it clean as we are able.

2. Generate Bodhicitta.

Bodhcitta means wisdom-consciousness, or awakened-consciousness. Engage in the political conversation from a place of wisdom and compassion. This allows you to recognize your own wounding, while allowing yourself not to react from the wounded place. It also allows you remember that everyone is doing what they think best for the world.

You don't have to agree with their methods (and you won't in many cases), but trust that everyone is doing their best. In addition to contributing to the process of your own potential awakening to the enlightened mind, it makes it easier to have a civilized conversation.

3. Don't take it personally.

While it is easy to get caught in the fervor of fear, hurt, power and probabilities, and while the outcome of election day is very important, remember that comments made about your candidate are not comments made about you. Political disagreements don't need to become personal ones.

As a business person, I know I am taking a risk by being public with my political views. But it is a risk I willingly take on, in order to be the best citizen, of this country and the world as a whole, that I can be. I respect your right and duty to do the same.

The place where politics and spirit meet is addressed in this issue's Empowerment for Presence; There Is No Other. Read on, and have an ecstatic day.

peace.

-LaSara

www.lasarafirefox.com

*****

Ready to give coaching a try? Contact me for a pre-coaching evaluation NOW! Drop a note to: firefox@lasarafirefox.com, or call 707-293-5153 to schedule.

*****

Empowerment for Presence: There Is No Other

by LaSara Firefox, www.lasarafirefox.com

I have a lot going on in my life right now, and all of it is the opportunity to achieve a more constant state (or station) of awakening to compassion. One of the largest of my personal challenges to living in my compassionate heart is Sarah Palin.

Why? To begin with, she's the iconic proof that we haven't "come a long way, baby!" at all. Palin represents the dumbing-down of America, but more painfully to me, she is the "answer" to senator Clinton's "ball-busting" demeanor. Palin is hailed by some as the perfect feminine candidate; MILF-esque, down-to-earth (folksy), and seemingly, dumb as a doornail. Ouch.

So here's the practice I am sitting with in accepting Palin as part of the undifferentiated all-that-is: three steps to cultivating compassion.

1. I recognize Palin, and my feelings for her, as my own shadow, my own wounded self seeking the light of acceptance, my own wounded femininity aspiring to recognition in a "patriarchal" world, my own fear and my own failing.

2. I awaken my "witness self", the one who easily sees my own broken parts, and loves me into wholeness, even when I feel unlovable, or unloving.

3. I allow my heart to open and grow, and visualize Palin held securely in my own heart, or enveloped in my heart-energy. I breath into this love, and allow myself to heal in, and through, it.

I undertake this practice for the benefit of all beings, pervading space and time.In the process, I heal my own heart. I address my own shadow, and in moving through the pain of it, I become more awakened to the process of integration.

In the healing of my own heart, and the growth and expansion of it, I come to have more faith in the possibility of healing. Anger is a poisoned blade that harms the one that holds it. I am only capable of healing myself. But, perhaps in healing myself, I heal the world.

Consider yourself empowered.

LaSara Recommends...

Book:

Meeting the Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature

Edited by Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams, Tarcher, 1990

Meeting the Shadow addresses the dark areas of the psyche from many angles and perspectives, and through numerous lenses. It's helpful both as a cautionary measure, and as a doorway to cultivating understanding of the shadow and how it functions and manifests. Even-handed, honest, and engaging, essays from scholars, spiritual seekers and leaders, pundits, parents and more.

TV Show:

Grey's Anatomy is a really, really good show. My husband and I watch it together, and are equally moved by it. Grey's Anatomy deals with epic themes with a light hand. And, as a fan of moral ambivalence that's true to life, the show offers opportunities for viewers to arrive at our own conclusions about right and wrong.

As a comment on women in culture, the show makes up for my heart-ache regarding Palin. (See above!) Grey's posse is sexually empowered, though wounded - like most of us; hard-working, yet sometimes over-extended; invested in image, though often pissed-off when objectified. In other words, I know these women. They're me. And you. And my sisters. And my peers.

So glad to have another year of growing up with this crew.

The Ecstatic Presence Project * 705 N. State St. #205, Ukiah, CA, 95482 * 707-293-5153 * firefox@lasara.us * www.lasarafirefox.com

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Living Thanks-Giving! Gratitude Games for Families and Circles of Friends, with LaSara Firefox, MPNLP

Bring the "thanks" back to your Thanksgiving festivities (and the rest of the holiday season) with Gratitude Games! Meaningful fun for the whole family, designed by LaSara Firefox, MPNLP.

Every day is a good day to practice gratitude. Gratitude helps heal the heart (yes, it's scientifically proven to help with healing rates after heart surgery or heart disease), it reduces stress, and it helps us to learn to notice the things in life that support ease and grace.

This product offers some fun and easy ways to introduce gratitude practice to your family and friends, and integrate gratitude practice into your life.

Product will ship on or before October 15, so you have plenty of time to plan your "Gratitude Gathering" for Thanksgiving day. Pre-order now, and get:

• The Living Thanks-Giving How-To Collection - Gratitude Games, Gifts of Gratitude; The Value of a Grateful Life, and How to Host Your Gratitude Gathering - at half price; only $24.99! (Our regular rate of $49 goes into effect on October 16.)
  
• The first five orders will also get a complimentary half-hour phone-coaching session with LaSara Firefox, MPNLP.

This product is totally green: zero waste! You will receive audio files and pdfs. You can use the product entirely from your desktop, laptop, or palm-top. Or, print or burn as needed.

Coming to Practice * Gratitude Games

In this post: Coming to practice... * Ecstatic Presence Empowerment: Gratitude Games!

Coming to Practice

When it’s hardest to give myself to practice, it’s the most important to do so.

Big changes are afoot in my life, and I - knocked off center - come back to the zafu, sit in front of my quiet altar, draw a card for contemplation from my goddess deck, and receive Kuan Yin. Goddess of Compassion. She will lead my practice today.

I draw at random from my stack of meditation books. It’s Jon Kabbat-Zinn’s Wherever You Go, There You Are. I open to a page at random, and it’s an essay called “A What-Is-My-Way? Meditation”.

I find my way in the few minutes of quiet. The way of surrender. The power of prayer enfolds me, and I surrender to being held by something larger.

I feel my heart constrict, a baby in the birth canal, I am being pushed through this moment, into a larger awareness of self, of potential.

Death and birth are solitary walks. Every moment of it, truly alone…yet not alone. In facing my absolute sense of self, I break nearly into a knowing of the larger truth – that there is no alone.

Compassion sits just outside my reach, because I have placed it there. Presence is, or is not. Presence is releasing expectation, releasing attachment, releasing time.

There is no time in the eternal now, the forever unfolding is-ness of the moment.

I am present, in practice. I am breathing compassion, in practice.

So I come back to the meditation altar, back to the pillow, and sit.

peace.

-LaSara
www.lasarafirefox.com

Ecstatic Presence Empowerment: Gratitude Games!
by LaSara Firefox, www.lasarafirefox.com

I wrote this Empowerment for the Thanksgiving holiday. However, every day is a good day to practice gratitude. Gratitude helps heal the heart (yes, it's scientifically proven to help with healing rates after heart surgery or heart disease), it reduces stress, and it helps us to learn to notice the things in life that support ease and grace.

Here are some fun and easy ways to introduce gratitude practice to your family and friends. If you feel inspire to integrate gratitude practice into your life, consider hosting a Gratitude Gathering. You can use these games as a starting point.

1. Gratitude Practice: The old standby. Everyone in your cluster takes a turn saying something they’re grateful for. One offering isn't enough? Go around again!
2. "Gratigories": Take turns choosing categories, and then everyone at your table offers one thing they are grateful for in the chosen "gratigory."

At our family Thanksgiving last year we played this, and it was great! Some fun - and surprisingly touching - gratigories we came up with; public utilities, things that happened to or for us when we were teens, family traditions that have been handed down, the influence of famous people.

Have fun with the gratigories! The more diverse, the better.

3. A Grateful A to Z: An alphabet of gratitude! Start with A, and make
your way to Z. Make sure everyone takes a turn. This is obviously a great gratitude game for the wee ones in your crew.

4. Compassionate Gratitude: The most challenging o my gratitude games perhaps, but what better way to strengthen your practice of compassion, than with gratitude?

The point of Compassionate Gratitude is to find things to be grateful about in areas that challenge your lovingness. Politics? Family? America? Media? Culture? Choose your topic, and find the gift in the challenge!

Consider yourself empowered!

About the author:
LaSara FireFox, MPNLP, is mom to two amazing daughters, a life coach, and an educator. She helps her clients and students to find balance in their lives, and alignment with their personal and family-held values.

Visit LaSara’s website at www.lasarafirefox.com for more information. At the site, you can listen to her “Yoga Mama Satsangha” podcast series, download free parenting-related items, and more.

Practicing Gratitude.

Listen to today's episode of Yoga Mama Satsangha. I talk about gratitude practice, and how and why I introduced the concept and practice to my family. Interested in practicing gratitude? Visit my site for a free download of Gratitude Games.

peace.

-LaSara
www.lasarafirefox.com

Listen to the Yoga Mama Satsangha interview with Anna Getty!

My interview with Anna Getty today was AMAZING! Fun, sweet, and filled with useful information. You can listen to it by clicking on the widget below. I am sure you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

Yoga Mama Satsangha -- LaSara Firefox interviews Anna Getty

LIVE! June 25, 12:30 PM Pacific. (Available for download anytime.)
hosted by Talkshoe! CLICK HERE for details.

Join us July 25th for a conversation with Anna Getty, certified yoga instructor, founder of PureStyle Living - a green lifestyle company, and heiress to the Getty family fortune. Anna and LaSara will talk about PureStyle Living, yoga, Anna's latest philanthropic venture - the development of a non-profit organization called Pregnancy Awareness Month, and find out exactly what inspires this amazing entrepreneurial yoga mom the most!

As always, we invite you to bring your questions to the Yoga Mama Satsangha! If you have a question for Anna, please post it here before the call, or enter it using the chat feature at Talkshoe once the call is underway.

Seven Steps to Healthy Communication With Your Kids

by LaSara FireFox, MPNLP, www.lasarafirefox.com

As conscious parents working to create a better world, we know that the work - and joy - of it begins at home. Here are seven steps that offer you a foundation for clear and healthy communication with your most precious focus; your children.

1. Honor your kid's questions with answers.

If your child is mature enough to formulate a question on a given topic, she is mature enough to get an honest answer from you. That answer should always be age appropriate, and within your comfort zone.

Sometimes an honest answer is "I don't know," or "That's not a question I'm ready to answer." If either of those are the case, follow up appropriately. If you don't know, you can always make it a research project for you and your kid to engage in together.

If you don't feel comfortable answering a question because it gets into territory you feel conflicted about, own your boundary around it (see step 4), and let your child know when you would be willing to revisit the topic - whether it's in a couple of days, or when your kid is in the fifth grade, or when you've sorted your stuff out. Always be responsible and proactive with the follow-up.

Bonus idea: Visit www.lasarafirefox.com and access my free downloads for directions on creating a "Question Box."

2. Own your feelings.

Don't make your discomfort your kid's "fault." If the question he has asked makes your hair stand on end and your face flush, know that your embarrassment, your discomfort, or your anger.

A danger inherent in parent-child communication is that your kid will take on your shame, your discomfort, or your unease. Or, in cases where a kid is a "mismatcher", they may act out in opposition to your stance. If you don't want your kids blindly falling into - or acting out in response to - your wounding, patterning, imprinting or behaviors, own your internal conflicts.

3. What isn't said speaks more loudly than what IS.

Ignore it and it'll go away? Not a chance. But sooner or later, your kid(s) will - especially if you're unable to answer the questions brought to you. Sex, drugs, money; they're all topics that may have been avoided in your family of origin. But do you want your kids getting answers from the same unreliable sources you did? (On the schoolyard, TV, your parents, the government?)

The conspicuous silences in your communication are an OUT LOUD statement - about what's inappropriate, shameful, unmentionable. If you want your kids getting different messages than what you were handed, make sure you're giving voice to your opinions.

Normalize the topics that make you want to freeze up. Talk with your friends, talk with your trusted advisors (your coach, your priest, your therapist, your doctor), talk with your parents, talk with your peers. Know that there's a whole world of information out there. If you feel conflicted about your own ideas, educate yourself about different views.

If money was a hidden topic in your family and you feel that hasn't served you in your quest for financial literacy, give your kids a head start by bringing them into alignment with your financial values.

If you want your kids to know that sex is a good thing to have clarity about, model it by having values-based conversations with your kids about how to define their own sexual values.

With your nonjudgmental guidance and conscientious modeling, this process can begin consciously before your kids are even bringing direct question to you for answers.

Bonus Idea: Download my Sexual Ethics questionnaire for a tool that will help you find a starting place for these discussions. (Visit www.lasarafirefox.com and access my free downloads.)

4. Own your boundaries.

We all need appropriate boundaries. Modeling boundaries is, in my opinion, one of the most resourceful gifts you can offer your kids. One of the best way to offer boundary awareness to your kids is to model healthy boundaries in your interactions with them.

This means that you have not only the right, but the responsibility to say "stop!" when your wee one is hurting you, to close the door when you need a minute to yourself, to go for a run on a daily basis - no matter how needy others might be feeling.

Your healthy boundary also makes a clear distinction, and allows you to own your limitations or discomfort. In the course of a conversation or other interaction with your kids, you are bound to occasionally come up against the edges of your comfort zone. In these moments, it creates clarity to own your boundary, and make it clear that any discomfort you feel is due to your own process, and not something that your young-one is doing wrong.

5. Respect your child's boundaries.

Healthy boundaries go both ways. Another element of boundary in parenting that is all-too-often overlooked is this one; if you want your kids to know that their boundaries are to be respected, you must respect your kid's "no."

This can be tricky, but it must be worked out.

For example, sharing is a great value to instill. However, I know how I'd feel if someone came into my office and said "You aren't using your cell phone right now. Let Joe use it." My response would be along the lines of "Well, I don't lend out my cell phone, but Joe is welcome to use the house phone."

Yet, often parents will enforce sharing to such a degree that it can erode a kid's sense of control. Negotiate with your young-one. Create agreed-upon rules about sharing, such as designating certain items as "special" ones that they will never be asked to share.

With touch-related boundaries, it may be the most important to respect our kid's voice. If little Aaron doesn't like being grabbed and kissed by Aunt Joan, or tickled by his cousins, help him to voice his boundary.

Helping to set a boundary with Aunt Joan may be an uncomfortable moment, but everyone is sure to learn something in it, and Aaron is going to know that he never has to be touched in a way that's not comfortable for him in order to make someone else feel better.

If we want our kids to have the power of knowing that boundaries are to be respected, we need to both model firm boundaries for ourselves and our kids, and respect our children when they place a boundary that is reasonable.

6. Respectful, loving touch fosters connection! Stay embodied.

Kids listen better when they feel safe. (We all do.) They also communicate better when they know you aren't mad at them. (We all do.) Creating consensual, appropriate, loving connection through physical touch can help both parties stay present in an interaction.

There are many different modes for communication. Different types and levels of physical engagement are appropriate to different settings.

If your child enjoys horsing around, sometimes breaking the tension with a little tickling, wrestling or clowning around is totally appropriate. Or, sometimes massaging your kid's neck while you chat might be just the right thing.

If your little one is feeling sad, ask if he wants a hug. If your child is feeling tender or vulnerable, it can be great to offer to just hold your kid while he cries. If that's too much, or not desired, you can offer your hand for holding.

Most importantly, pay attention to your child's physiological responses, and respond accordingly. If your kid prefers sitting side-to-side instead of face-to-face, talk while sitting on the couch.

One of my daughters loves to have sit-down meetings with her parents. She's the younger kid, and loves all the attention being on her for the time that we give it. My older daughter, on the other hand, prefers a casual chat while in the car, out on a walk, or her favorite - while shopping.

The point is, every kid is different, with different needs, comfort levels, and desires regarding touch, embodiment and process. Pay attention to what makes your kid more comfortable, and communication will get easier.

Another way to stay embodied is to remember to breathe. If things get stressful, consciously choose to relax your body. Breath into the moment, and you will be more likely to respond the moment that is occurring, rather than reacting to how your dad responded when you brought up the same issue, and you were in the seat that your son is in.

There are two benefits to this practice; the first is that you will be more relaxed, which is a positive thing in and of itself. The second is that your child's body will respond to your relaxation by matching it.

Whiling remaining conscious and respectful of boundary, connect with your kids on a physical level while you communicate with them. And, stay engaged with your own physiological center.

7. The model is the message.

"Do what I say, not what I do," doesn't work. Your kids believe you. They watch you. They look up to you. They learn from you. And, actions speak so much louder than words.

When my clients say demoralizing things about themselves, my standard response is "How would you feel if your kid did (or said, felt or thought) that? Because, she's going to." Your kids will, consciously or unconsciously, emulate your modeling.

In this way, self-care is taking care of your children. Your ability to take care of yourself is one of the best foundational messages you can offer your kids. If you don't want your kids to smoke, quit smoking. If you are having a hard time quitting, talk with your kids about it.

When you make a commitment to shifting a pattern of your own behavior, you can also enroll your kid's support. This is another opportunity to model resilient skills for your kids. Ask for the help and support you need. Explain why shifting the pattern is hard for you. Use it as an opportunity to educate your kids on good choice-making, using yourself as an example.

Transparency and integrity are areas that you may also choose to model. "I only smoke when I'm away from my kids," may seem like a good way to limit the damage, but how would you feel if your kid said "Well, I only smoke when I'm away from you."

When you tell your kids not to get in the car with anyone who's drinking, and then drive them home from a party after you've had a beer, you're sending a mixed message. It's confusing, and builds in not only the space for justification in the particular (well, Jo isn't drunk, so I guess it's okay to get a ride with her...), but also the room for justification in other areas.

Do you obfuscate? Do you outright lie to your kids? If so, you are ultimately undermining your own authority. How do you think your kids will feel when they find out that you did inhale? If you lie to your kids, or if your behaviors and your words don't match up, you are giving your kids a template for behaving in the same way. If you value transparency and honesty, model it.

Are you being a resourceful and integrated model for your kids? Here's a good guideline; ask yourself, 'If my kid were engaging in the behavior I'm engaging in, how would I feel about it?"

Bonus idea: Create a family charter of agreements. (Visit www.lasarafirefox.com and access my free downloads.)

Sustainable Family Values - How Values Grow.

You are always modeling your values. The tricky part is that we often have two sets of values - idealized values (the values we like to think we have) and applied values (the values we actually live by). If what you think you believe, and how you act in your day to day don't match up, you're out of alignment with your ideal values.

You can shift your values into alignment by changing your behaviors to match up with your beliefs. The steps I have offered in this article offer a great starting point for the work of coming into alignment.

The more consciously you engage with living your values, the more aligned your modeling will be with your ideal life. This is a true win/win situation; as you model the behavior that you would most want to see your children emulate, you begin living the best possible version of your life.

Bonus Idea: Define your family's shared values. (Visit www.lasarafirefox.com and access my free downloads.)

About the author: LaSara FireFox is a master practitioner and trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, coach, and published author. She's also a mom of two, and founder of two internationally active companies. You can find out more about her at www.lasarafirefox.com.

(Please feel free share this article, in its entirety. Leave all links active. Quoting is welcome, and should be performed in accordance with basic MLA quoting guidelines.)

Eight Gifts from a Wild Fire, OR, How I Spent My Summer Vacation, 2008, OR, What I Gained in the Fire

by LaSara FireFox, www.lasarafirefox.com

1. It's reminded us what's truly precious.

Life, limb, love, family, breath itself. Houses can be rebuilt. Communities will resurrect. Dreams can be molded from scratch. Life itself, and those we love, are the only truly non-renewable resources we stand to lose in the ancient battle of man against nature.

Nature's bigger, and we owe It Its due. Sometimes it's time to stand down, turn-tail and run. If it comes to it, at least we know we did what we could to create the most positive possible outcome.

The permanence/impermanance questions arise and fall away, and what's still true when the smoke clears is that if we're all still standing, we've made it through with what truly matters.

2. It's an opportunity to catch up with childhood friends.
Many of us have moved far a field from the halcyon days that founded the fields we grew up in. But in the last week I've seen more than a couple friendships renewed.

It's great to see everyone claiming the ground we stand on again. We've had a chance to meet anew on common soil. We can continue the trend.

3. It's a chance to remember what we're capable of.
Felling and moving trees by hand, making homestead after homestead fire safe, sleeping with the crackling of fire and the occasional "BOOM!" of an exploding tree echoing in the distance.

Emergency may bring out the best or the worst in each of us. I think most of us have had our moments of each. But the glory of the body under strain is miraculous. Feats of amazing strength and endurance stand as testament to our ability to persevere. To endure.

My personal contribution, while not monumental in the overall scheme of things, has made me feel more competent and confident. And younger than I was last week.

On a community level, we've been reminded too. Teams of community crew have been out roaming from home to home, making sure things are as prepared as possible. I think we've been given back something in that; it's a thing we FOUND in this fire.

4. A common "enemy" unites the good in us all.

When was the last time you got to see a sheriff, county and state employees, and medical marijuana providers pulling together to create a positive outcome?

Well, there's a first time for everything. This was it, for this particular assemblage. It was, and is, a thing of beauty.

Let's adopt this one for the long term, wherever we can. What would the world be like if we focused on the areas that bring us together rather than the ones that divide and conquer?

There will be a lot of rebuilding to do here in our community, in our county, and across the state, once the fires have burned themselves out. Let's learn from the fires, and from the flooding in New Orleans, and the other disasters that we've all been shaped by over the past few years. Let's find, and reinforce our strengths.

5. It's a chance to let bygones be bygones.
Communities pull together in times of challenge. With communities as old as ours, there's a lot of water under the bridge. What better chance will we ever have to let the past fall away and the present emerge renewed, like the naked floor of our forest home, than this?

We're all lending a hand. Let's try to find a smile for one another in the shared work. Let's let words be a balm and hearts heal. It's never too late to let our wounds heal.

6. It's a chance to get perspective on continuity and change.
Last time our community had to pull together to fight fires, it was a generation earlier. The kids at the edges were us - now we're the ones on the front lines helping the older folks stay out of harm's way.

A generation ago the gardens of green would have been yanked before the fire crews got on site. Now the conversation had as we sit with the civil servants waiting for the flames to come - or fall away - are about legalization, double binds, fair taxation, and how to end the war in Iraq so we can all feel good about paying our taxes again.

Some things change, some stay the same. We're still proving what we're made of out in the outlaw hills of Mendo, but we're also taking direction from the trained professionals who are here to help. We're sitting in community, uniforms of tie die and jeans, and uniforms of safety yellow, side by side.

7. It allows the space to cultivate nonattachment.
Nonattachment is a practice. Sometimes it's a practice breath by breath. With the fire, we've had days of preparing for the possible loss of childhood homes, investments, holdings. And, day by day we sacrifice more to the hope of stopping the fire before it hits the houses.

Trees come down, one by one. Bulldozer tracks are cut into hills and valleys. Dirt stands exposed - raw soil open the amber, apocalyptic haze of day.

We lose a limb, to save a body. And even then, it's a gamble. There is nothing to control, nor be controlled by. Moment to moment new choices arise. And then the moment passes, and that is gone too.

8. It gives us a chance to gain global perspective, and cultivate compassion and gratitude.
While taking tools in hand and making our space "defensible", i thought long and hard about my friends in the middle east who have this thought as a constant one, and not against a force of nature, but against other human beings.

With this awareness, I grow the love in my heart, wishing that this love could come like a cleansing rain and quench the thirsty soil and soul of a planet embattled. I find gratitude in the moments where common ground is found, and grow the prayer, rising up, from my lips;

"May this act and all acts be dedicated unto the complete liberation and supreme enlightenment of all beings pervading space and time. so it is. may the benefit of practice, mine and others, come to fruition ultimately and immediately, and i remain in a state of presence."

May this act benefit all beings.

Stay safe wherever you are. Kiss your babies. Hold your loved ones. Look for the silver-linings in those billowing clouds of smoke. And, keep on loving each other.

About the author:

LaSara FireFox, MPT-NLP, is a master practitioner/trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming/Patterning, life coach, educator, and professional speaker. LaSara helps her clients to find balance in their lives, and alignment with their personal and family-held values.

In addition, she is a mother of two, a successful author (Sexy Witch - Llewellyn, 2005), and founder and CEO of two companies; the Ecstatic Presence Project and Global Family Awakening: an educational, peace and humanitarian family adventure club. She teaches and coaches internationally.

LaSara's first book, Sexy Witch, was published in English and internationally distributed in 2005, has been reviewed in twelve languages (at last count), and will soon be available in Spanish, Russian and Czech. Her next book, Yoga Mama, is due out in 2009.

For more info, please visit www.lasarafirefox.com.

(Feel free to share this article. Please see “copy left” info below. THANKS!!!!)

(L) – Copy Left: All Materials may be reproduced with attribution, and in-full. Leave links intact. May not be excerpted without permission. Quoting is welcome, when conducted in accordance with Basic MLA quoting guidelines. Created by LaSara FireFox, January 2008. Updated 6.23.08.
www.lasarafirefox.com * 707.293-5153 * info@lasarafirefox.com

Summer time, and the living is easy.

The adjustment from school year to summer is easing into itself, after a couple of weeks. The girls are finding ways to entertain themselves, and we parents are doing our best to carve breaks for family time into our very busy, work-from-home life.

Our littlest one, already sure at eight years old that she's writer like her mama (and step dad, and uncle, and grandma and grandpa), has taken on the idea of writing a couple of books this summer. Our older child is reading her third novel of the summer (yes, it's only been two weeks), and in her spare time is creating collage pieces of fantastic skill.

The days ease, crunch, and race by in eddies of rushing and relaxing, the tide of family function revolving around a complexly multi-varient, yet utterly simple center; everyday we live into the love.

Yoga Mama's Ecstatic Presence Practice: The Gift of Recognition

Sometimes when I'm in the middle of a project, it's hard to hear a request for my attention as anything other than a distraction. And the less I pay attention, the bigger my loved-one's need gets for a moment of connection.

Soon, the chant of "MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM!" begins, and my edge starts rising.

The moment I remember that this is an opportunity for presence, and a chance for a moment of divine interaction, the energy shifts. All I need to do is come present in the Love.

I invite you to consciously enter into interaction as a moment of divine presence. Bring your whole self into your heart, and connect from there. Recognize the inherent wholeness, integrity, perfection in your loved ones, in strangers, in yourself. Make Love a verb.